Daily Tart

If I were a Lesbian, I would…

- go braless

- get a nipple ring

- shave more often

- fundraise and run 5ks

- speak with a raspy voice

- make out with Ani Defranco

- go shoeless, but have a killer pedicure

- camp frequently and make out under the stars

- take an art class and create abstract vagina paintings

- own a multitude of dildos in an array of colors, shapes and textures

- wear safety pins, trashy bras, hunting pants, metal jewelry

- be pregnant all the time with flowers in my hair

- volunteer to retile all my friends’ houses

- tour the South and play the guitar

- snap at construction workers

- have a cactus garden

- get a tattoo

- get a dog

- drive a jeep

- never wear velour

- own a killer set of knives

- only shop at stores with bins

- blog my life with a picture diary

- visit a nudist colony…just for giggles

- make homemade granola and pass it out on Halloween

- pass out women’s lib lit at strip clubs, but fiercely support their choice

- dye my hair frequently and colorfully; sport a buzz cut or dreads

- encourage straight women to explore their sexuality

- constantly email friends to support my causes

- plan an all girls trip to Lake Havasu

- build sets for community theater

- wear fur at a gay men’s club

- wear lesbian pride tee-shirts

- occasionally explore men

- move to Sacramento

- still be girlie