If I were a Lesbian
If I were a Lesbian, I would…
- go braless
- get a nipple ring
- shave more often
- fundraise and run 5ks
- speak with a raspy voice
- make out with Ani Defranco
- go shoeless, but have a killer pedicure
- camp frequently and make out under the stars
- take an art class and create abstract vagina paintings
- own a multitude of dildos in an array of colors, shapes and textures
- wear safety pins, trashy bras, hunting pants, metal jewelry
- be pregnant all the time with flowers in my hair
- volunteer to retile all my friends’ houses
- tour the South and play the guitar
- snap at construction workers
- have a cactus garden
- get a tattoo
- get a dog
- drive a jeep
- never wear velour
- own a killer set of knives
- only shop at stores with bins
- blog my life with a picture diary
- visit a nudist colony…just for giggles
- make homemade granola and pass it out on Halloween
- pass out women’s lib lit at strip clubs, but fiercely support their choice
- dye my hair frequently and colorfully; sport a buzz cut or dreads
- encourage straight women to explore their sexuality
- constantly email friends to support my causes
- plan an all girls trip to Lake Havasu
- build sets for community theater
- wear fur at a gay men’s club
- wear lesbian pride tee-shirts
- occasionally explore men
- move to Sacramento
- still be girlie
